I lost my best friend
yesterday…………….MY MOM. I took her into the emergency room Monday morning for lower back pain that she has been dealing with for the past 3 weeks. She couldn’t take it anymore so she told me to take her there instead of to dialysis, which we were on our way. So we got there and they gave her some morphine. Made her comfortable. Then 4 hours later they gave it to her again, plus a patch on her chest that released pain meds also. My mom is a dialysis patient, so she didn’t filter the meds like how we do through urine. So the meds stayed in her body and suppressed her breathing. She was already having a hard time breathing because of the cancer that she had in her throat so thats why they put in the trach tube. Well anyway, they figured out that the morphine was too strong, cause she wouldn’t respond. So they gave her something to reverse the effects of the morphine, which worked for a few hours, then they had to give it to her again. She was retaining a lot of carbon monoxide in her body cause she already couldn’t breathe well. So by yesterday morning she was retaining 100% of it in her body. Which made her halucinate. But she also knew who everyone was, and she continuted to smile and be happy even though she was so tired. That morning, when the sun had come out, there was a huge full rainbow right infront of her window. It was gorgeous. Then as we were looking at it, a white dove flew to her window and sat there looking in for a few minutes. I told my mom to look…….and she had a big smile on her face. It reminded me of Touched By An Angel, the tv show that use to come on………it was a sign I feel that they were coming for her soon. The docs tried to put in a breathing tube down her trach to get more air, but the cancer had already grown and they couldn’t put the tube past the trach to get the tube to her lungs. They did a scope test to make sure. They said there was nothing they could do for her now but to make her comfortable. So thats what we did. We told her it was ok to go to the angles. That we would all be ok. and then she left us. She looked so beautiful and so peaceful, not a single frown on her face. She looked so good. I was and am sooooooooooo crushed. I dont have any appetite to eat a single thing. Or drink. I just dont have the feeling to fuel my body. My kids are the ones that are keeping me going. Without them to keep me somewhat busy I dont know what I would do. But I just wanted to share my story with you and let you know that my mom has made her journey.
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WOW! I was feeling every feeling you had Rochelle! At least she left peaceful and though we may not understand; it’s better to let someone we love go in “peace” and the white dove was a sign! BEAUTIFUL and always remember how peaceful she was! What a beautiful memory of your mom. Always remember the goodtimes and you’ll get through it and we are here to help you! Though greiving is a natural process; I found such peace and love within that blog! I’ll keep your family in my prayers sweetie!
My thoughts and prayers are with you! What beautiful signs you were given. Your mom is at peace.
(((Hugs)))
((((HUGE HUGS)))) to all your family. Sorry for your loss. Agreed about the signs, it was time and your mom is @ peace.
I’m truly sorry for your loss…
~~~~ShArky~~~~
I am so sorry, even when you know it is coming, it is so hard. What an amazing way for your mom to depart, I am sure she will be in a good and happy place now and with no more pain and suffering. My heart and warmest feelings are with you in this difficult time.
I am so very sorry for your loss. My father passed away last week from a heart attack. He was my mother’s best friend. My thoughts and prays are with you.
So sorry to hear about your mom. Sending my condolences to you and your family.
Oh Rachael, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult this time is for you but try to remember all the good times you and your mom had and know she is in peace now. Lots of prayers and hugs are coming your way.
I am so sorry for your loss. Just hang in there the best you can. When you feel real down just remember your mom probably wouldn’t want you to stay down for too long and she would want you to remember the good times. My heart goes out to you.
SO sorry for your loss. Just knw she is no longer in pain and can rest at peace now. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time. We are all here for you anytime.
I’m so sorry for your loss and can feel your pain in your blog, but can also sense the peacefulness and beautiful moments you had with your Mom. Take care of yourself and you will be in my thoughts!
I’m so sorry. I’m sure this is going to be a very difficult time for you. Take care and hug those children extra tight!
sry for your loss hon
hugs and let yourself grieve….its ok
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss! Sending {{{{HUGE HUGS}}}} to you and your family. I was so touched by the way you described the rainbow, white dove and the peacefulness of her passing. God Bless You and Your Family.
Sorry for your loss. Looks like you have made a lot of good friends who care about you on here.
I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What an amazing story (rainbow/dove)! Atleast you had your sign and she went in piece. Your story brought a tear to my eye because I truely don’t know what I would do without my mother. Stay stong and embrace your kids to help you get thru this tough time.
I am really sorry for ur loss but u know ur mum is in a better place and feeling alot better too so take peace in that…but no matter wt…she will always live in ur heart and memories…So just hang in there..and the entire community of buddyslim is right here with u…Take care love and God bless!
Sorry for your loss, at least you know that she left peacefully and she’s in a better place. Keep strong.
Rachelle,
I am so sorry about your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. When you were talking about the rainbow and the dove, it made me think that God was letting you know that her storm was over and that she would never suffer again. Look to God for strength, and talk to someone if it gets too hard to take.
Hugs,
Heather
God looked around his garden,
And found an empty place.
He then looked down upon the earth,
And saw her tired face.
He put his arms around her,
And lifted her to rest;
God’s garden must be beautiful-
He always takes the best.
He knew that she was suffering,
He knew she was in pain;
He knew that she would never
get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough
And hills were hard to climb
So he closed her weary eyelids
and whispered, “Peace be thine.”
It broke our hearts to lose her,
But she didn’t go alone,
For a part of us went with her,
The day God called her home…
~ brightest blessings hun!
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope everything is okay. Be strong for yourself and your family and friends.
Rachelle - This is the 1st that I have been on buddy slim since October. I am so so sorry for the loss of your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your mom is now a angel -nolonger in painn- watching over you and your family.
Loss of Mother Poem
Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something –
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I’ve known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.
~ Author unknown
Oh, Baby, I am so sorry. But she went in peace with her loved ones around her. And you will be with her again. Remember all the love she showed you and pass it on to your children. Love is all we have that really matters in this world. And you were helping her right up to the end. May God bless and heal your broken heart. Love, Marge
This is my first time to your blog, but just wanted to offer you my heartfelt condolences. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. I’m sure your mother will be greatly missed.
Nadine
I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t been on here for a long time. I wish I could have been here for you when you needed some support. I’m here now. I pray that the lord will grant your broken heart mercy.
Oh hun,Sorry to hear of your loss{{Hugs}}